So we don’t have the privilege to wander downtown often, however, I had some business down there anyways so you know what that means: FOOD SEARCH. Downtown is where the good stuff is at (well as good as CO will get)! And what better mission is there than to find some deliciously round cupcakes! My good friend google and I sought out the best cupcakes while leaning towards bakery that offer gluten-free options. Well none of us have celiac disease but gluten = fat and fat = death. And it’s my belief that if there are a lot of people allergic to a certain thing then there must be something wrong with it. Although I think to compensate for the loss of gluten, bakeries overdose the cupcake in other unhealthy things such as SUGAR. And we all know that sugar = diabetes and diabetes = good luck stabbing yourself everyday with a needle when you’re old. Now with that said, we visited four, that’s right, FOUR cupcake places in a single afternoon. Diabetes here we come!
The Shoppe:
This hippy joint is located on Colfax Ave where the stoners and hookers chill out. When we entered the tiny store I was worried when I saw the little fake plots of grass on the tables. This either means that they’re trying to be creative and chic or a smoke signal for the potheads saying “Hurry buy our “special” cupcakes before the police find out!” Upon entering we surprised a lady in the back (who said "OH!" like "OH! Customers! We don't get those too often" -_-) who came closer to which I realized it was a male trying to go for the Sunday school Jesus look. OOPS. So we looked through their shady cupcake display with their very “homemade” looking cupcakes. As Sue C’s it, never trust a man with curly hair and boy should we have listened. After some examination of the flavors in their disorganized display, we decided on a lavender honey and a gluten-free SLASH vegan oreo cupcake – BONUS! Or so we thought….
- Lavender Honey -
Ok I don’t really remember if that’s what it was called, I think it was like lavender w/honey something frosting. You could definitely taste the lavender flavor which is a plus since many make the mistake of making lavender goods with no lavender flavor…hmmm. The cake was super dense though; I prefer a light and fluffy cake. The frosting was tasty and really creamy; too bad to ran onto the plate before I could eat it! I had to scoop the frosting back onto my cupcake so I could actually enjoy them together. But overall it was an OK cupcake – it had that homemade taste….a little TOO homemade.
Score: 6.5/10
- Gluten-free/Vegan Oreo: -
THIS is why people don’t eat healthy! Cause cupcakes like these scare people away! My advice for this sorry excuse of a cupcake: If you’re going to make a gluten-free AND Vegan cupcake, DON’T. Please do us all a favor and choose one or the other because I don’t see many Vegans with celiac disease hunting down cupcakes. And if there are those oddballs out there, then they won’t want to eat these things! This failed cupcake tasted like plastic melted onto a cardboard box the homeless man in the back of the shop sleeps in. They tried to hide the nasty flavor with their (again failed) frosting that was seriously twice the serving of the cake. Ever hear of PROPORTIONS? If your frosting was light and fluffy maybe you could get away with it, but not when it’s as dense and hard as my brother’s hair gel. Ok I’m exaggerating a little it wasn’t unbearable but I will never buy it again and I didn’t even finish the frosting (partly cause I couldn’t hold it all together due to the crumblyness). Do us cupcake lovers all a favor and burn that recipe cause your
Score: 2/10
Lovely Confections Bakery:
Simply a block and across the street away from hippy’s cupcakes “Shoppe” was a little nicer place. They only do special orders of gluten-free, however, they do use organic and local products in all their cupcakes (if that really makes it better -_-). Only one flavor looked good, which was the Bees Knees or something like that. She described it as lavender and honey, I think, wasn’t really listening (correction from website: A Lavender Cake with a Honey Lemon Buttercream). But I do know I heard her say lavender and did not taste it at all. Maybe her definition of lavender is the intangible marketing scheme of using the word “lavender” in her description. I DO know, however, that this baker knows the definition of SUGAR. That frosting had enough sugar to kill my diabetic grandpa with one whiff. Ok maybe a lick, but it was sweet and topped with the hard balls that distracted me from the flavor and concentrate on not cracking my teeth. You guys were voted the “Best in Denver” for 2008 AND 2009??? Seriously? Was there bribery involved?? Ok ok being the responsible and sustainable supporting citizen I am (except for when I’m lazy, really don’t care, and toss that dirty klenex out the car window), I was happy with their fancy parfait containers made out of go green corn! I don’t see how that is being sustainable but that’s not the point, they say it’s good and that’s all that matters. Yay green movement… Summary – They distract you with their fancy cupcake paper thing the cupcake is molded into (whatever that's called) and container they place it upon purchase. But guess what, it's not all about appearances. As for the actual cake, it was too dense and tasted like the organic cake mix I bought from Whole Foods and the frosting was too sweet. I mean it was average.Score: 6/10
Now THIS is what I’m talking about. Located on Champa Street in the heart of downtown Denver and by a shady bus stop lies this tiny bakery with a cupcake genius (why are all the cupcake places in such shady areas?!? It makes me nervous when I have to speed walk away from that smelly homeless man ready to mug me and steal my cupcakes!). This bakery is like my light at the end of the tunnel for Denver. Denver has been nothing but a disappointment until now. If you’re looking for a heavenly gluten-free cupcake, look no further. Even if you don’t have celiac disease or you’re one of those “well we have to die sometime” unhealthy anarchists, you should still taste this gluten-free goodness. I can honestly say that I like their gluten-free cupcakes better than their regular glutinous cupcakes. No this isn’t another one of my schemes to turn you healthy so you can live longer, I speak truth! So we tried the gluttonous Strawberry Lemonade, gluten-free Red Velvet, and a gluten-free Dark Night. -Strawberry Lemonade-
Well we tried this cupcake the week before our one-day cupcake run (thus the crappy disgusting flash picture) but I’m gunna talk about it anyways. It was a lemon cake with a strawberry frosting with FRESH chunks of strawberries in it! It’s hard to find fresh fruits used in anything these days. The cake was light and moist except a little more lemon flavor would be better but the frosting was a light, whipped frosting that melted in your mouth. And this interesting cupcake was topped with a plastic noodle…? Actually I think that was a straw in an attempt to be “cute” and “witty”, psh.
Score: 8/10
-Gluten-free Red Velvet-
This deliciousness was moist, light and fluffy; just the way I like it. Unlike most gluten-free foods, this cupcake didn’t crumble and unravel the moment I peeled off the wrapper. It actually stayed in one piece. Now I’m always skeptical of Red Velvet because EVERYONE claims that they have the best red velvet and blah blah. Well there was no surprise that I’ve tasted better than this but I give them kudos for making a great gluten-free Red Velvet that DOES top many of the Red Velvets I have tasted in the past. Although they made the mistake of using their regular whipped frosting instead of creating a cream cheese frosting, which is traditionally paired with Red Velvet. Don’t get me wrong, I love their frosting but if you want to survive in this world you have be like the crowd but better…if that makes sense. Don’t be lazy and use the same frosting for everything, be creative, you can do it Mermaids! xD
Score: 7/10
-Gluten-free Dark Night-
Ok why hasn’t any one else come close to this gluten-free goodness level?? This chocolate frosting on chocolate cake is better that a majority of the non-gluten free cupcakes I have tried in my lifetime. It’s also hard to find a cupcake where you love BOTH the cake AND the frosting. Like I said before Mermaids is lazy and use the same frosting for all their cupcakes, just flavor it differently. Which isn’t a bad thing in this case because their frosting is awesome. Some people prefer buttercream but I prefer a nice light whipped frosting. So if you can’t handle a giant mound of sugar in the shape of a cupcake, this bakery has wonderful light and fluffy everything! Not too sweet, and not too rich, who knew Denver could produce anything good?
Score: 9/10
Happy Cakes Bakeshop:
Inconvenient and out of the way, we UNhappily searched for “Happy Cakes Bakeshop” located all the way on 32nd Ave. Tucked away in an awkward crevasse, we had no choice but to be happy in a place called Happy Cakes surrounded by petite and smelly cupcakes. Plus we went on “$2 Tuesday”, SCORE! The family has been here before and I hear that they have gotten stingy on the frosting and used to pack the cupcakes in boxes like NORMAL people. But NO they gave us a crappy paper lunch bag that left no support for the cupcakes and tossed them around like I tossed the kids in 5th grade at recess.
-Roasted Banana-
If you’re looking for banana bread muffins look no further! Wait…these are supposed to be cupcakes!! Well they sure looked and tasted like banana bread muffins. The "cake" part was firm, dense, and too bananay. On the other hand, the frosting was, in the words of Josh Groban, EXPLOSIVE. I’m a whipped over butter cream kind of person but I must say their honey cinnamon butter cream was super flavorful and tasty. I liked the frosting better than the cake part! Since the contrast is so great, I’m giving it separate scores:
Frosting: 8/10
Cake: 6/10
-Red Velvet-
I kid you not, go to any place that sells cupcakes, ask them which is popular or the best, and they will ALL say RED VELVET. Yea yea I bet they would have never even heard of Red Velvet if it weren’t for the Chuck’s wedding cake. But this one was, well like the rest, average. I still don’t understand why they seem to want to go in the muffin consistency direction. Anyways yea it was dense but still pretty tasty but again the frosting showed up the cake. The cream cheese frosting, if you’re into thicker frosting, was pretty good. But it was a little too heavy and think for my taste but others may like that kind.
Score 7/10
-Snickerdoodle-
A cinnamon-sugar muffi- I mean cupcake, with a crispy cinnamon-sugar crust baked on top, finished off with a vanilla butter cream and a dusting of cinnamon sugar. Wow I wish I could come up with such an elaborate description as that…but no I got it from their website. Well I suppose they need a delectable sounding description for such a plain mound of diabetes. I mean don’t get me wrong it really did taste like a snickerdoodle cookie, but I believe I bought a CUPCAKE not a muffin that tastes like a cookie. Ok this cupcakes wasn’t all that bad but it wasn’t great either. Didn’t have too much taste and again the frosting was extremely sweet and dense. I thought the Roasted Banana’s frosting was waaaaay better than this. Why couldn’t they have been lazy like Mermaids and put that frosting on this one, I mean they’re both supposed to be cinnamony! So I say…
Score: 6/10
Health notice: My family and I split and simply have a TASTE of each cupcake flavor so we do not consume whole cupcakes of each flavor. Do not be TOO concerned for our diabetes health (well be a little), we take many vitamins and drink black tea to help metabolize our sugar levels.
