If you have 5 mins to waste -

I know this battle well...
(you may want to pause the annoying music at the bottom =) )

There IS Such Thing as a Free Lunch!

I always hear the "eating healthy is too expensive" or "WAH I really don't care" speech.  Well if you're really concerned about price then I have two words for you: Whole Foods.  Don't get me wrong, Whole Foods is way overpriced and is working towards running a monopoly but as I was walking around the store, I noticed they have something most other health food stores don't have...SAMPLES.  Why do you think Whole Foods is so successful?  It's because they have an abundance of samples (well also because they have a nice facility compared to those small local health food stores that looks like it was opened by a jungle man and hippy's baby that welcomes homeless people who can only afford a loaf of rice bread - I really did see that at Vitamin Cottage by the way, er not the baby part, the homeless man buying rice bread).  So as I tasted every single sample in that Whole Foods I thought to myself: I AM FULL.  So these people who complain and complain just for the sake of complaining, do yourself a favor and GO TO WHOLE FOODS.  Eat all their samples!  Go Crazy, no one's watching!  Well, they are but there's no law saying you can only eat so many samples!  Plus, they're not gunna put out the nasty stuff (although I did have a Kombucha sample...but you had to ask for that and people are too lazy to ask so they're safe) because they want people to taste how good it is so they'll buy it.  And it's relatively healthy...ok not really but those Newman O's are way healthier than Oreo's that have animal fat in-between black colored corn syrup things.   So to prove my point, I took some ninja pictures that show some of the samples you can get (and I didn't take pictures of everything which proves the possibilities are limitless!).

Ok this glory line may not look like samples to you but I mean come on, self serve is screaming to taste before you buy.  

Mozart Cheese?

Ok this may not look like samples since you can't just reach in these and spoon up some gelato, but what you CAN do is stand there and ask the man, "Can I try the chocolate?  Mmm tasty, can I try the strawberry?  Hmm...Can I try the pistachio?  Until you've tasted them all.  Or unless there's a flavor you really liked you can say "I forgot what the amaretto tasted like..."  Then you pretend someone is calling you and skip off.

They even have free utensils =)

This is the most jungle Whole Foods I have ever seen...

Look at that nice dining area you can eat your all your FREE samples at!

On a side note, the employees at the Centennial, CO Whole Foods are all so friendly, I swear they're on something.  I mean, the meat man was having a diva-off with the other meat man as he skipped gayly around the butcher table, the bakery lady gave us a tour of their pastries, asked us if we needed help 5 times, and told us we can look as long as we don't drool on the case (which I just awkwardly stared down as my mom laughed super loud as she always does to make people feel better), the cheese lady asked us if we needed help when we were stealing all the cheese samples (everyone knows people gunning for the samples first don't really need anything), and the sushi people...well...they were a little more toned down but I think they just felt awkward as I glared at them for being dark haired white people making sushi for two Japanese people hmm...Ok so unfortunately these next pictures aren't samples (but i must say, having a whole pie as a sample is an excellent idea), however, I am surprised but the artistry Whole Foods has stepped up to.  

Hehe it does look like Ice Cream...

Until our next excursion!

Dining WITH Your Food

If you want a true Colorado hick-town experience, make your way to the Buckhorn Exchange on the random street of Osage pretty much Downtown Denver.  This is probably the most morbid dining experience I have ever had.  You literally are dining with the food you are eating.  Their walls are decked out with dead animals that stare at you while you eat them.  It's quite unsettling.

Yea that's the creepy dining room...

(Photo taken from TripAdvisor)

I tried to enjoy my meal but that Buffalo in the corner watching me eat my Buffalo Prime Rib made me feel guilty and wanting to vomit, yet my taste buds were saying "shut up weakling and eat this delicious prime rib."  It's true, when I tasted the food, I couldn't help but be thankful the Buffalo made a lifetime commitment so that I could enjoy eating his guts.  Anyways, they have exotic meats such as our appetizer, called "Sirloin Game Tips" (real creative guys), that consisted of beef, buffalo, and elk.  Yea elk.  They also have things on the menu like Alligator Tail, Rocky Mountain Oysters (trust me, they are NOT oysters), and Rattlesnake....things I will never try.  But it you're unkosher, adventurous and abnormal, don't let me discourage you.

"Sirloin Game Tips" Appetizer

They also have this Steak Dinner which is supposedly their specialty where you can order it for 2-5 people.  Being the nosy person I am (I'm surprised I didn't try to be a creeper and to sneak a picture), I saw the table of husky dudes next to us order this giant piece of meat.  The steak is carved tableside and served with this little pot of mushrooms and onions, it looked so good and artery clogging.  For dessert we tried the Hot Dutch Apple Pie with cinnamon rum sauce a la mode.  Now I'm not a fan of the Dutch but they do make some good Apple Pie.  I mean I've had better, this one was super sweet and expensive...  It was good but you'd have to run like 5 miles after eating this to burn all those calories.  

Fried Artichoke Heart Appetizer

Now I don't eat meat to often so I instantly felt the heart preparing for bypass surgery.  So when I got home I drank some Oolong tea which is good for melting down the fats and helps your body to digest better.  So all in all if you enjoy a creepy and morbid ambiance, are a meat lover, in Denver, want a "Colorado" country bumpkin experience, and have a great metabolism, then you should try this place.

MoleMoleMole

Growing up in Cali, I was exposed to much Mexican food (maybe more than I hoped) and now I think it's just deteriorating my intestines...  Lately, I've found Mexican food to be too rich and greasy for me since I've done some cleanses and my body finally has a brain of its own.  Warning me of those mobs of chiles ready to lynch and torch my heart and arteries while all those beans fill my stomach with foul smelling gasses.  But there's still something about guacamole that has an innocent appeal that says that it won't harm me.  Well that's because it's mostly made out of avocados which is packed with Vitamin E, lowers cholesterol and does something good for your skin.  But all that is cancelled out when the Mexicans throw in pesticides and serve it with fat doused chips.  

So when I make guacamole I use organic avocados but don't go crazy with that potato masher and smother them to a paste.  I find having chunks of avocado in there give it a better texture and doesn't make it seem like you're eating cat food.  I also like to throw in some mayo (grape seed oil to be specific), finely chopped onions, fresh tomatoes, fresh chopped cilantro, some kind of fresh finely chopped chiles, sea salt, freshly grated pepper, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, tabasco sauce, some lime juice (don't use lemon, tried it and just no), and last but not least, CUMIN.  I remember my sister once telling me that the secret to good guacamole is CUMIN.  I never really understood that until I ate Indian food....anyways, cumin is also good for boosting the immune system and good digestion.  Maybe if the Mexicans thought of this before, we wouldn't see Ambulance trucks outside of Santiago's Mexican Restaurant every morning on the way to school.  

Then I decided to attempt at being creative (which usually fails me) and try giving this guac a nice presentation.  So I saved the half Avocado shell and stuffed the guacamole inside there.  There's some happy and intriguing to me about re-stuffing things that you got the originals from.  Like deviled eggs, they're so happy!  And I topped it with more cayenne pepper for color, some rice chips (baked not fried! woohoo), and celery leaves...yea we didn't have any nice garnishing in the fridge except for celery...I was hoping for something NORMAL like parsley or cilantro but beggars can't be choosers *sigh*.  Oh and did you know that your guac will stay greener if you leave the seed in??  Never works for me but you should waste your time and try it!

Ok I admit, the only reason I made guacamole is so that I could take pictures of it....LOSER.

No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into >=)

Thank you for taking the time to visit my so-called "food blog".  No I'm not really THAT bored, I just enjoy sharing what food looks and tastes like in the eyes and mouth of Julianne.  I think the world should be exposed to what I experience, even if you don't care.  And I'll save you some money by warning you of places that suck or you'll be thanking me when I exploit you're new favorite place to stuff your face!  This was inspired by my sister's food blog (who you should all follow *cough* thedishtales.blogspot.com *cough*) and I thought I would start my own with a little Moto flare to it.  Once again, this is probably going to be the most unhelpful food blog out there but hopefully entertaining.  I guarantee there will be typos since I am far too lazy to re-read what I write so please ignore those or figure out what I'm trying to say.  And I may just randomly forget about this one day and never post again, so sorry in advance.  Well Bon APPETITE! hehehe...